Scared and divorcing with Herpes

By its5oclocksomewhere on Sat, 02-04-12, 20:53

Posted in Group:

Herpes

I feel like I am in a pressure cooker. I have been with 2 men in my life. Both I have been married to. I got divorced about 4 years ago and reunited with my high school sweetheart. A few months later I found out I had herpes. I married my high school sweetheart. I'm unsure which husband gave me the herpes...my high school sweetheart was honest with me..that he had several partners over the years. My ex husband cheated..so I don't know how I got it and I guess it doesn't matter now. In the beginning I was so happy to have my old flame back in my life..I thought I was going to live happily ever after in a fairy tale. However, a few years down the road...I've realized he is resentful and not kind to my 2 children from my previous marriage. A couple weeks ago I actually had to call the cops because of his temper and now he is not in the home. He spent a couple days in jail. He tells me he wants to work things out. ..but he still lacks remorse for how he has treated my kids. I know in my head..that I can't be with someone who isn't loving and treats my children well. My heart wants things to work out. I feel like because I have herpes now..I will never find someone else to love me. I feel like as soon as I'm honest about having herpes...any man who is interested will run the other direction. So I'm scared of getting a divorce. I'm scared of being alone. I've never been alone. I'm also scared I will never feel for anyone the way I have felt for him. In the 13 years we were apart..he stayed in contact...monthly..with my mother to check on me. The entire time I was married to my ex...I thought about my high school sweetheart...12 years. That's a long time to dream and long for someone. Now he is back in my life...and it is falling apart. Not only is it falling apart...but I have this awful thing...that is not curable. What will my future be like now?

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By CK on Mon, 02-06-12, 15:23

First, herpes is not a death sentence or a something that makes you undesirable. Secondly, your current husband honesly sounds a bit like a stalker, he checked up with your mother every month for over 12 years?!!!! He is mean to your kids, you had to call the cops, what makes you think this will get better? If you want to get back together I would take it slow and make marriage counseling and anger management a requirement of the reconciliation process. Also, don't stay just because you are scared of being alone-that isn't a good enough reason to stay together.

I wish you the strength to make the right decision.

-CK

Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast-Alice in Wonderland

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