I have no advice!!! I'm just happy for you!!!

I knew rather he was gonna dump you or rather he was willing to work this out you needed to talk to him. It wouldn't be fair to yourself otherwise. Your an inspiration to us all!!! It's like a Cinderella story coming to life!!! I wish you happiness, luck and lots of love from long distance man!!! I kinda got someone I wanna break the news to in my life and see how she takes it!!! If not well, I won't hold it against her, but than maybe I outta get a long distance girl!!!

Good for you, maybe it was a good thing you stood and hoped it wasn't all bad. Im sure as soon as you get into it you will remember the whole sex thing lol I wish you the best of luck. lol we like pictures too hehe and no not of long distance man lol
just kidding. I hope everything works out for you, just take it slow and one step at a time

lol wait a sec.. Your first paragraph says it isn't just about the sex,by the way I didn't say it was,, I said that cause you said would you even remember what to do, then your second paragraph was all about sex hmmm i'm just teasing you,but with that said,, my ex got oral quit a bit, there were times when she said no, So now im guessing when she had something or thought she might have, and I only have issues down stairs, I have also read that the first year you are the most contagious ,or I thought I read that, so if that is true, keep that in mind.
I didn't upset you ? did I ? I didn't mean too if I did.

I'm not a girl and I don't know if there's a substitute for a Tongue but I guess there's always toys and vibraters !!! Anyways some of your post makes me want to take a cold shower!!! You often talk about sex as if its a walk in the park lol!!

I met a girl around the way. She tried hinting at me she would wanna go out with me, but with this virus and my awkward shyness when a girl approaches me like she did, I froze up kinda like a deer when it sees headlights they just stand there like dummies. Anyways I do like her!!! She seems to have it all. Good spirits, great attitude, very funny with a great sense of humor she's very out going a hard worker and she has interesting hobbies too. She's so full of life. I truly don't want to risk giving her this virus. I feel she has a lot to offer in life. So I feel if she doesn't want to take the risk. I should move on quickly to forget about her. What do you think?

Nice post. Please keep us posted on what happens with your relationship (sexual or not). It is an inspiration for those of us that find ourselves in a similar situation - like a guy and terrified about taking it to the next phase. Honestly the fact that you are worried, to me says you are a nice and considerate person. If you did not worry so much then I would think you were like my ex, no care in the world, all about getting his, despite what he passed on along the way. Good luck and just relax and go for it, while using the right protection. I think you are on the right track, accepting whatever comes out of this. Do not spend your time worrying about the IF THIS THEN THATs..... we all know that with us, that type of worry just works against us and brings out the HBomb at a time when you want it to stay behind closed doors. Good luck. I do not doubt that you will do fine. You have obviously achieved alot already, by being upfront with him about your condition, so at least that part of it is out the way, so relax and simply let things flow...... no matter what the outcome.

If having intercourse is the main dish. Then what is going to happen when you all are done? Their maybe nothing left/else. Is that going to cure your loneliness and enptiness what about when your back to yourself again what you gonna do? dream about that tranmission.

Just like that, you just going to submit to his will/your will. what's for desert, did you even have an advertizer or was conversation enough. Only you know the dept of your association. Is this gonna be a dead end? I know as a man if their is no dept to it all I'll be looking forward to is the sheets not a frienship or relationship. Just stay careful if you can.

Your totally right I do like her a lot!!! Also you saying I'm not fast and you'd slap me on my head is enough motivation to do what I know is right!!! For some reason when a girl does approach me I do get shy!!! I never really know why it happens, but it does. I'm ok with approaching girls I guess that's how I Pefer it to go.

I'm beginning to learn more about me here!!! I never been on a website like this before. It's amazing how people see a head banger with tattoos wearing denim & leather and they get judge accordingly. Then you cme here jot your thoughts down and people see more than a rebel without a cause. They see you for who you are. Pretty cool!!!

Anyways back to the "not so fast " comment there's a guy we call Fast Freddie at work because he's in his own world to put it nicely. I guess you can call me slowmo jefro or something lol

No I never used dental dams or plastic, and not that she convinced me she was std free, we never talked about it,, this is a person whom I met in high school, someone I have known for a long time,you would have thought she would have told me, seeing as she enjoy telling me how she had feelings for me ,since we use to hang out when we were younger, except when she was single I wasn't and vice verse. But I guess there really isn't trust, honest any more among friends companions.
Me personally ,Don't know if I would want to use dental dams or anything, I enjoyed the touching the feeling, every thing about it, I'm not sure how it will be from here on out. But I know what I miss. This might sound messed up, but now my dream date would be hsv positive oral, lol This way I could give what I enjoy giving and receive what I enjoy to receive. :-)~~(:
For now sex really hasn't entered my mind, I would be more happy just to meet and be able to hang out with a female who was experiencing the same as I, the having to deal with hsv, gotta go work is waiting hope everyone has a great day

@positivelife Nothing more just yet with Mr. hot, tall and handsome guy. He went out of town for the Thanksgiving break and will be back this weekend. I have vacation coming up in about12 days so will be heading out of the country until next year. I think this is just the time I need to help create some distance for a litle while. While before, I could have jumped at the opportunity to be with a guy such as him ever chance I had, now I am forced to slow things down and really get to know someone before turning it sexual - A PLUS IN MY BOOK. Even before finding out about having Herpes, I had decided that I was going to slow down in knowing guys because it seems like I always seem to attract the wrong one, who get in there, get off and take off. I am tired of that, so I had made up my mind to remain single and really slow down when it came to relationships. Now that plan is fully in effect - funny how life works!!So it probably will be next year before I can update on Mr. Hot, Tall, Dark and Handsome guy :-(. You know when I was first diagnosed, I kind of, obsessively read article after article and that is the type of thing that I do not want to do. Am mentioned in one of my posts, this is a condition that I refuse to take center stage in my life. It is a condition and not who I am. So it is good to read articles, but balance it out by continuing to live your life too (advise to myself really). It is nice that you are eager to help him understand this condition and are wanting to forward to him articles that offer some hope. God knows we all need that, for some times alot of the articles are so negative or simply just lack that light at the end of the tunnel. And then on the flip side, there are those that simply make "too light" of the condition, that it does not come as a surprise to me that more people (My Ex. included) are out there spreading this thing like gossip, simply because society does not think it is "that big of a deal". I mean for crying out loud, doctors don't even include it in your annual screening unless you request for it!!!! So it is this kind of "It's not that big of a deal", misinformation that gets people too comfortable and in my opinion encourages them to continue to be careless in their sexual behavior. Certainly send him the articles, but just be careful not to overwhelm him with too much information. I really want this to work for you and I know you do to, but just give him time to do some of the research too on his own and come to you when he has questions. Letting him know that you know where to find information is great, and am sure he realizes that too. I think too that perhaps pointing him to the support group, then he can read for himself too, what those living with this condition are saying first hand, just my thoughts, certainly not something you have to do :-).

"His health is a main source of worry for me. He just ran a marathon last month and he's a martial arts teacher so he's constantly on the go. I'd hate for him to give up anything physical because he has painful or constant outbreaks. I wouldn't know how to remedy that.". You have a valid concern, but please realize too that even with this condition many of us continue to live fairly healthy lives too. I am actually training for a marathon myself and have always been a health and fitness kind and Herpes is not about to slow me down one bit. So do realize that even with Herpes, one can still live a fairly healthy life and partake in things such as marathons without a problem, :-).

All the best to you and please keep us posted on how things go.

@ugh, I do not think it wrong that you wish to find another with HSV, frankly that is what I wish would happen between me and Mr. Hot,Tall, Dark and Handsome Man. I hate wishing this on anyone, but I just want to be able to feel loved again and I hate to think that this could be it for me and him. I dream that he will come to me and give me the "talk" before I do and I will be like, "I totally understand, now walk with me (among other things :-)). Hang in there, if these so called statistics are right, perhaps you will find someone that is in the same boat as you are. The key is to communicate ahead of time and avoid putting others at risk. As far as dental dams, never used them because I have never been into oral... well actually I take that back, I have been into it, but I just was so shy about it ;-). Hopefully you find the one for you and you don't have to have so many things restraining you. For me the decision is to always play it safe (condoms a must even with monogamy), even if he turns out to be HSV positive. I let my guard down when I thought me and my stupid, idiot of an ex were monogamous, only to find out that he loved and pushed for the idea of no condoms, because he loved the feel of sex without a condom and little did I know that he had a football team of women that he was running around with all bareback, YUK!!!!! I was devastated and had anxiety like you would not believe. You best believe I went and got checked repeatedly and also planning another full panel checkup again at 12 months out, just to be sure..... So when you think you can trust someone, they may be out there sleeping around only to bring it home to you without any protection. That to me is a risk I am just not ready to take, even with both of us claiming monogamy or both being HSV positive. But that is just me, not saying you have to take the same approach.

CONGRATS!!!!! you are officially my role model. i recently met someone on a cruise. out of the group of people that we were with i would have never thought he would have an interest in me (for various reasons) and i actually had my eye on someone else. since i've gotten to him, he's actually one of the sweetest and generous guys i've ever met. of course i am terrified to tell him about my situation and i feel it's too soon to tell him anyway. the good thing is he is long distance but still close enough to jump in the car for a weekend getaway. anyway, best of luck to you and your long distance man and i hope that my situation will go as well as yours. :-)

Very good. I hope everything works out. I hope one day I will meet some one that holds my attention like you guys hold each others attention. I hope it is the real thing.

Yaaaaaaay! This is so exciting! I'm so happy for you!

Dear positivelife,

I always enjoy reading your posts! Thank you for sharing. All the best to you. Be cool, be calm and be yourself. You will be fine, I am sure of that.